Self-Introduction
Dear
Prof Blackstone and Classmates,
My name is
Ivy, a Year 1 civil engineering student at Singapore Institute of Technology. I
graduated from Singapore Polytechnic with a diploma in civil engineering with business.
Although I immersed myself in the course for three years and was exposed to the
industry during my 3-month internship, it was not until I served my 3-year bond
with a contractor that I started developing an avid passion for the course. I
initially chose the course due to coercion by role models who are in the same industry.
However, I am grateful for the opportunity to experience it for myself.
Those three
years spent in the workforce were challenging and yet rewarding. I was
able to apply the things I learnt during my diploma, as well as witness the
fruits of my team’s hard work tangibly- a 44-level condominium.
I was
fascinated by how foreign workers from different countries could communicate
with their limited English vocabulary and still manage to get tasks done. I was
slightly abashed, being someone whose first language is English, when I had
difficulty delivering simple instructions and translating them into something
that was commonly understandable on site. Knowing one's audience and adjusting one's speech to suit them accordingly is one of the communication challenges
that I still face today.
On my days
off work, I would enjoy a friendly game of poker with a few buddies. This
improved my ability to discern some forms of non-verbal communication, such as
facial expressions and body language. As a result, I became more sensitive to
other people’s emotions and had better judgment with regards to knowing the
right things to say. I matured into a more attentive listener who could build
rapport and gain trust.
Through
this module, I hope to be able to communicate clear instructions concisely, as
well as improve on my speech delivery, particularly in the area of impromptu
speaking.
Thank you for
taking the time to read my formal letter.
Best regards,
Ivy Carreon
Revised on 22/01/2021
Commented on: Haihong, Ming Hao and Sarah
Hello Ivy,
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing more about yourself! It has definitely allowed me to get to know you better. I am amazed that you have already been in the industry for 3 years! Looks like I have lots to learn from you :) May I know which company were you attached to during your internship?
Your content fulfilled most of the points for this assignment. The contents are well organised, with clear and concise structure.
I look forward to getting to know you better in the coming weeks!
Best wishes,
Regina
Hi Regina,
DeleteThank you for your encouraging comment! I did my internship with Yongnam Holdings. The company is a contractor mainly specialising in steel works. I was fortunate enough to join their first main contractor team for my internship.
Best regards,
Ivy
Hi Ivy, I was quite impressed by the experience you have gained from working in this industry.
ReplyDeleteI like how you used poker game as an analogy to illustrate non-verbal communication, and then linking it to how it has became your strength.
Hi Hai Hong,
DeleteThank you for the uplifting comment. I am glad to know I managed to deliver some points across through this letter.
Regards,
Ivy
Hey Ivy, after reading your letter it made me understand how passion for work plays a very important factor in who we become in the future. Thank you for your detailed explanation and I am sure that your passion will bring you far in the future!
ReplyDeleteHi Marcus,
DeleteThank you for your comment. I am motivated knowing that my passion for the industry was expressed through my letter.
Regards,
Ivy
Dear Ivy,
ReplyDeleteThank you for this fluent, detailed introductory letter. You cover the parameters of the assignment well and illustrate with clear examples and explanations, so much so that the letter is quite informative. I’m particularly impressed by the discussion of your work experience and how that has led you to both more fully appreciate your field of study and also develop a better understanding of the complexity, and your own strengths and needs, of communication.
You do a good job of developing each of the segments in this post. It is clear and concise. I’m also impressed that you want to be a person who can more effectively give instructions to others through communication. Can we say that being a leader is something that appeals to you? I do hope so, and considering your work background, I would like to challenge you to become a more active participant in class as we move forward.
With regard to language use, this is a fluent effort, but there are a few minor issues with word usage/verb tense:
-- Those three years spent in the workforce have been challenging and yet rewarding. > (verb tense)
Those three years spent in the workforce were challenging and yet rewarding.
-- Knowing your audience and adjusting your speech to suit them accordingly is one of the communication challenges that I still face today. > (level of formality: avoiding use of 'you/your')
Knowing one's audience and adjusting one's speech to suit them accordingly is a communication challenge that I still face today.
I look forward to learing more about you and reading more of your writing this term.
Best wishes,
Brad
This comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteHi Prof Brad,
DeleteThank you for your heartening comment. Being a leader does appeal to me. However, I tend to take a step back and judge the situation before stepping up. This trait has made me lose many opportunities to share constructive ideas with the various teams that I have worked with. Rest assured, I will work on being more confident, spontaneous and participative in class as we move forward.
As for the word usage/verb tense errors, I have taken note of them and I will revise my letter accordingly.
Thanks and regards,
Ivy
Dear Ivy,
ReplyDeleteI have read your letter and I have to say, it was a very well written introductory letter! I felt that the letter was complete as sufficient details were provided. The requirements of introducing yourself was met and though it was detailed, you managed to keep it concise as well. Grammatically, I felt it was very well done and very minor errors were made.
I loved how you gave an elaboration of your working experiences and linking it back to the reason for pursuing your current course, civil engineering. There are specific examples of a 44-level condominium given that truly made me in awe. The addition of your hobbies like poker was great to allow the professor to know more about you. I realized you pay attention to minor details that could be an advantage in the way you communicate to people.
Overall, your letter had met most of the 7Cs and the general requirements of the letter and had good opening and closing statements. I enjoyed every moment of your letter and will be looking forward to see you achieving what you intend to by the end of this module.
Yours sincerely,
Quek Ming Hao
Hi Ming Hao,
DeleteThank you for your thoughtful and robust comment. I appreciate how you took the time to highlight the parts that appealed to you in my letter.
Regards,
Ivy